


(They're Not) Perfectly Fine

by Ha_YouWish



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Soranort - Freeform, Xionnort, idk uhhh, kh trailer spoilers, or at least the theory, other stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-11
Updated: 2018-09-11
Packaged: 2019-07-11 03:31:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15963785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ha_YouWish/pseuds/Ha_YouWish
Summary: Maybe the darkness is getting to him.She can feel herself slipping away.He doesn't want to hurt when his other half doesn't.She fell.





	(They're Not) Perfectly Fine

**Author's Note:**

> SPOILERS FOR THE KH TRAILERS (including the new one).
> 
> Speaking of which... that was some trailer, huh? 
> 
> partly inspired by the theory that was inspired by that trailer as well as other things (soranort)

_(Please don't) Fall asleep._

He doesn't sleep as much as he's used to. He's scared. He's terrified.

He had almost lost everything back then. And he sat in that damn white seat, watching, hoping, and not being able to save himself.

He's scared.

He's weak by himself, without anyone else to protect his heart.

He's horrified at the thought of not being able to be in control of his own body.

He hates how scared he gets, when the people inside of his heart take control. It lasts a second, they say one word, and that one word brings back memories and pain that isn't his own. But that one second of not being able to be in control, it scares him more than the memories do.

And he can feel it. He wishes he couldn't, but he does. With no one there to protect him anymore, he can feel it creep up on him whenever he's alone.

A flash of gold in the mirror.

A streak of white in his hair (he cut it out, he couldn't look at it).

Those moments where he slowly loses control, it's terrifying. Darkness has never affected him like this before, it's scary how much it controls him while no one is looking, how tired he gets while fighting it.

And how freeing it is when he finally lets it take over.

It's terrifying, not only to Sora, when he's no longer in control.

 

_(Never) Forget About Me._

It's frustrating. She wants to rip her hair out.

It was a lie. That's all she can think. When she was told that her memories, the ones that keep her alive, would stay hers, all she can think is that it was a lie.

Because slowly but surely, those memories of good times with her best friends are slipping right through her fingers.

They don't remember her, she gets that, she's accepted it a long time ago. But now she's not remembering herself, losing those sacred pieces to that _monster_.

It isn't her, just another puppet who looks like her, who then looks like someone else too. But she's slipping, gliding between the Monster and herself. Dragged up from the bottom of His heart and coming to the surface more and more.

It sucks because they notice. The ones she shares her fate with can see it happening, and they're scared for her. She doesn't want them to be, because she isn't scared.

She's not.

She doesn't feel any terror when she sees that mirror of herself with golden eyes and white hair. She's not horrified when she looks down and can see through her fingers. They are, though, the ones who are there with her, they've become really good friends since she's been here, and her best friend doesn't want to lose her again.

Last time, it was for the best.

She doesn't know about this time. But she's not scared, she can't be, because she can't recall ever being scared in her life. Not that she can recall much of herself now.

Any day now, and she'll remember. She'll be able to see the world again, through her own eyes, but she might not be in control ever again.

But Xion will take what she can get.

 

_(I’m Not A) Weapon._

Who is he kidding? Of course he's a weapon. Devoted to his cause to become the key needed for his Master to unlock Kingdom Hearts. He has to be, or else he'll be in trouble.

Despite being Darkness, he doesn't like getting in trouble. Not with his Master, at least.

Or multiple Masters, since he decided to split himself up so much. He never bothered to make him one, though, there is no need. He is devoted to being the weapon he needs to be.

But just because he'll do it doesn't mean he cares about it. His Master has said that he'll be whole soon, that Kingdom Hearts could help him. He doesn't know if that's true, so he has plenty of backup plans.

Plans that involve hurting a lot of people.

He likes hurting people, spouting off insults and threats. Watching the emotions he can't handle go out and make havoc and chaos. He likes watching people suffer.

He hates that he likes it.

Because that's not like him, not like how he used to be Before everything happened and- _no don'tthinkaboutit_.

He hates that he's the one stuck with all the baggage. He's the one who couldn't keep his face, his body, his Light. But of course he has to have the memories of Before, the nightmares from that war, the punishments, the Darkness, the hole.

The hole is still there, even after he taunts those idiots. It's still there, even after his Other got healed. It's still there, even after laughing at the suffering faces of “his" enemies as they see one of their own give in to their side. (They aren't his enemies, he doesn't really care about them. He just wants to be left alone- No, that isn't it. He just wants the hole to disappear.)

He probably hates the hole the most. It's ever-present and persistent. He'll claw at it and scream, but that just makes it bigger. So he's stopped scratching at it, hoping that maybe there’ll be a scab and it could finally heal. He doubts it.

Nothing could ever heal that hole, but Vanitas would do anything to feel whole again.

 

_(She's Not) Completely Lost_

She's lost hope. She's gone, and there's nothing anyone can do about it.

She had been tired of waiting. Waiting for what? Waiting for the answer to that question, waiting for something, _anything_ . Maybe a door? Maybe a portal? Maybe even a rescue team? (they were too late- _toolatetoolatetoolate-_ she already enacted her only plan)

No more waiting. There is no way out of here. No hope or guiding Light that could lead her to the Other Side. No one is there for her and no one is looking for her. They won't ever find her because they don't care. They don't need her. They don't- _theydon’ttheydon’ttheydon’t._

So she turns to the Darkness. She knows she probably shouldn't have, but it's getting to her head and she isn't thinking straight. That's her excuse, at least.

The time in this place has torn up her clothes, dirtied her face, and diminished her hope, she can't wait anymore.

So she falls willingly, wrapping herself in the hopeless spiral. She knows she can’t get out of it, so it's better to not fight.

(Although she does dislike the reflection she caught in that puddle, the one of the yellow eyes and white hair. It reminded her too much of what happened to Terra, she doesn't want to be reminded of that.)

She's been fighting for thirteen years, and she's tired. So she does what any tired person does, she rests.

When her eyes are open once again to the world, she will not know why she had given up and given in, but now she feels perfectly justified.

She can't make it to her friends through the Light, so Aqua will have to reach for them in the Darkness.  
  
_Oh,_ _How Far They Have To Fall Before They Reach the Bottom (And Before They Get Back Up)._

**Author's Note:**

> i dont actually think aqua is norted, she might have just fallen into darkness. but i could be wrong.
> 
> Constructive criticism is encouraged!!
> 
> EDIT: I realize now that after writing so much angst, I'll have to do something fluffy. So please expect that and have a nice day. (also rip xion theory)


End file.
